Thursday, July 29, 2010

I have this little problem.....

Well I guess it's more of an issue then a problem. But whatever it is, it sure doesn't hurt that she is this stinking cute!

The smiling face above could also be named "The sleepless wonder". Save your breath on preaching to me the virtues of a rested baby. I know it. I believe it. But the kid doesn't sleep. She is the queen of catnaps. And I am weak. As we entered night 4 of trying to transition her to the crib from her cosleeper, she only made it in the crib for about 5 minutes until I had her back in bed with me. She needs me. She needs to be able to smell me, know that I am close and that I will comfort her. But even when she has all that, the kid is a poor sleeper. Still wakes at least every two hours. At one point she was on a great schedule, easily slept through till we had to get up at 5am. But then teething began and it all went to crap. I know I should be sleep training. I am exhausted, as is my darling hubby, but I just can't let her cry it out. It's so sad. And she is so happy to see me every time I go in there.

Any tips, ideas?


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A day in the life......

And it goes a little something like this:.........

10:47pm - put a soundly sleeping Miss Mimi down in her crib, for hopefully 2 successful nights in a row. Greg made it thru last night with her, surely I can do it too, right?

12:02am - awaken to high pitched fire alarm caliber screaming coming from nursery, however, not coming thru on monitor. Noise level apparently not an issue for 2 other people sleeping in my bed, they both continue to snore.

12:03am - enter nursery, calm baby, she grins back at me, assuming night time is now over and its time to hang out.

12:04am - return to nursery with bottle, Mia promptly grabs and begins gulping as if she hasn't eaten for days.

12:05am - attempt to figure out why on earth baby monitor isn't working when it worked fine the night before. Determine that the kid is loud enough that no monitor is necessary, go back to bed.

12:13am - awaken to violently loud screams, again. Enter nursery, wonder if baby is too cold to sleep. Wrap blanket tightly around Mia's abdomen. Rub her tummy, go back to bed.

12:15am - Screams continue. Try to convince myself that she is ok, almost 10 months old and has to learn to sleep thru the night at some point.

12:16am - Feel guilty, enter nursery to quiet screaming and prevent other children from being woken up. See that blanket is now on baby's face, panic! Assume that baby is now dying of SIDS (regardless of the fact that she is shrieking like she is being stabbed) quickly label self as world's worst mom, pick up dying baby and attempt to rock her to sleep.

12:25am - Put baby back in crib, her body feels warm, but still convinced that she must be freezing, why else would she be so fussy? Remove offending blanket, swear at self for greedily installing central heat and air instead of individual wall units so that I could manage each room's temperature control and therefore prevent baby's now obvious hypothermia. Go back to bed.

12:28am - Begin to doze back off, drooling starts, only to be rocketed back to reality by now working baby monitor, Mia is grunting and crying and is clearly suffocating to death.

12:29am - Enter nursery and see that although close to crib rail, baby appears to be fine and just angry at her awful mother for abandoning her. Instantly recall that beautiful crib was subject to a recall and can't remember if husband installed repair kit on this crib or other crib. Swear at husband under breath for not loving the baby at all, who on earth would not try to save baby from dying by installing the kit? Crawl under crib, while singing "You are my sunshine" to try and quiet sobbing baby, trying to determine if said kit was indeed installed. Wonder if husband did install kit, and I am just losing my mind. Maybe I should wake husband from clearly sound and peaceful sleep and ask if he managed to find time between The Deadliest Catch and Pawn Stars to think about preventing baby from death?

12:31am - Baby now back in too small cosleeper, next to mom's bed, sleeping soundly.


Thursday, July 15, 2010

T minus 72 hours and counting.

Those of you closest to me know that this blog has been quite the hot topic lately! All the drama is not really my style, but there has been a silver lining, the blog has had a HUGE amount of traffic the last couple weeks. I might even be able to advertise soon, lol. Before moving on, a huge Thank You to all of you who offered your moral support during that whole debacle, it means tons to me, and it was nice to not feel like I was losing my marbles.

~ Anywoo ~

The family and I have a small function going on this weekend, lol. I have to admit, I may have bitten off more than I could chew with this one. Greg and I have been working late into the hours of each night to make sure everything is done, along with help from Aunt Crystal(who by Sunday will have flown in from sunny Las Vegas not once, but twice! to help) Aunt Cheri, and Lou. I don't know how you do it Jayena. Maybe it's 2 kids instead of 3. But you are amazing, and I am so tired, I may be willing to admit defeat. But just this once ;-)

On to the point of this post. Our little #2 is turning the big 02! Toots is turning two! Hard to believe. It feels like it has crept and flown by all at once. My poor middle child. Such an easy baby and total pain in the tush at the same time. It's crazy to think that this was the little face looking back at me at her baby shower:

Such a pretty little baby.

We plan on celebrating in style (of course). The circus party preparations are in full swing. For once in my life I can honestly say I am shopped out! Greg has had his first experience with a high temp hot glue gun, and while the project was finished, the man has very few fingerprints left. I have (with help from Lou) made T her little ringmaster costume. And since #1 couldn't bear the thought of not wearing something special herself, I also made her a little black tutu. When is a tutu not appropriate anyway? Both girls will have mini top hats (please don't look too closely, they are ridiculously crafted) and matching fishnets. I have to admit, I became deliciously light headed and ecstatic when I was able to score toddler sized fishnets! The activity boxes are assembled. All the games and prizes have been organized. The table decor and centerpieces have been put together and carefully packed up. The party favors are assembled and waiting for eager little fingers to rip into them. Tomorrow I will try to wrap up the rest of the loose ends, and buy the food and cupcakes. Oh, and my popcorn cupcakes turned out to be painfully easy to make.

I am almost giddy with excitement. This is like Christmas, only better because it will be sunny and 75. Next time I complain about how tired I am, or how frustratingly annoying my girls are, one of you gals be sure to remind me of how blissful I feel right at this moment. It was hard, but I did it. I am so excited to see each and everyone of you on Sunday. Please bring your cameras! I don't mind if I have to delete 50 unflattering shots of myself, I will be perfectly content if I end up with just a handful of my little Tess smiling and enjoying her special day.

Till next time,

Thursday, June 24, 2010

To My Darling Husband......

After almost 9 yrs of being married I have come to the conclusion that men don't think. They are simple creatures. They don't over analyze things like women do, or worry about hurting feelings. In honor of this recent enlightenment, I would like to mention a few things to my beloved.

1. If you want me to be intimate with you more often, scratching yourself, burping and farting (now matter how loud or impressive is it) will NEVER help your cause. I have been telling you this for 9 freaking years. Figure it out. At no point will your award winning belch make me change my mind and want to hop in the sack with you.

2. If it is your night to take care of the baby, and I have already gone to sleep, it is NOT ok to wake me up to ask for help dressing, diapering or feeding the baby. Or putting the sheet on her bed. If I am asleep, that means I have no interest in helping you. With anything. That what "taking care of the baby" means. You don't get to do just the parts you like.

3. Even if it is Father's Day, if I have just spent the night with a sick baby, followed by a trip to the Emergency Room that you thought was "overreacting" my need for sleep will ALWAYS trump your need for Father's Day nookie. Period.

I love you, but God help me lately.


Monday, April 26, 2010

Things I would LOVE for Mother's Day.

Mother's Day 2010 is quickly approaching. 15 days to be exact. In my husband's world, that means 13 days to try and not think about it, and 1 really, really crabby day at the mall trying to not feel my wrath about dropping the ball.

This Mother's Day is a big one. For entire 365 days, not only have I successfully (to some standard) mothered this one:

and this one:

But we went and added this one to the mix:

which is a good thing, but makes for a very over worked mama! It is bliss, but crazy. Slightly organized chaos. I try to remind myself to enjoy it, soon enough they will want nothing to do with me, but right now it brings me to the first thing I would love for Mother's Day 2010:

1. To not be touched by ANYONE (this includes you Greg M.) for 24 hrs. I don't want to wipe anybody's nose, do anyone's hair or carry anybody anywhere. Ahhh, wishful thinking. (Disclaimer - the above statement does mean that I do not want these things done, it simply means that they need to be done by someone else.)

2. To have someone else vacuum and mop the floor, and have it stay in that exact same, spotless condition for at least 1 hr.

3. An open ended credit line at the best plastic surgeon in town. This would benefit everyone, don't you think?

4. To eat a meal that doesn't involve color crayons, paper towels, baby wipes and includes a cloth napkin.

5. To spend a family day somewhere fun, where no one fights or whines and Daddy doesn't threaten anyone.

6. An all expenses paid trip to the day spa.

7. This really cute necklace:

Isn't it adorable? It's an actual wax seal! Something different then the traditional mother's rings/necklaces etc. Plenty of room for personalization for mamas like myself that have a larger brood. It can be found, along with a variety of other delights @ for a not so ridiculous price. But you had better hurry dear, custom orders take a while.


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Happy Birthday Baby Mimi!

Wow! How fast these past few months have flown by. Maybe because I know you are the last baby, or maybe just because we are getting so dang old, but these days are going by FAR too quickly for my liking. You still haven't even thought about rolling over yet, which is just fine by me. Stay small and sweet, with your chubby legs and delicious cheeks. All too soon you will be running away from me, so eager to show your independence and abilities. I have two shining examples of that already.

I know that you are your own person. Cautious about who you let into your little world, content to be entertained by those already in your special circle. But I still wonder which one of your sisters you will be like. Will you be mischevious and hilarious like Tess? Needy and demanding, but able to sell it with a smile? Or will you be crafty, creative and demand to be the center of attention like Annabelle? Maybe you will be like your mommy and love to laugh? Or like your Dad and be easy to please? I am sure whomever you turn out to be it will be a delight to just be around you.

I can't believe that in a few short months you will be crawling, then walking, probably by your 1st birthday. How can that be? It feels like just yesterday, this was the little one I was holding:

Every day I have to remind myself not to get too caught up in the daily grind, to stop and enjoy your yummy giggles, and unexpected smiles. It won't be for much longer that your grin is toothless.

Happy 6 months to you, my sweet, sweet girl. Along with Annabelle and Tessa, you truly are a miracle baby. Every scare and stress we have been thru with you has been absolutely worth it. You deserve the world, and there is no doubt in my mind that you will conquer it. With an attitude and a face like this, how could you not?

Monday, March 8, 2010

Another one bites the dust....

Yesterday I turned 32 years old. I officially feel old. When I wake up, my back hurts. When I turn off the water in the bath with a toe, my hip pops when I put my foot back in the water. And this past year, when Christmas was getting closer, I started to feel panic instead of excitement.

When I turned 30, I had a REALLY, REALLY hard time accepting it. I moped and pouted and cried. I felt like I should've either gone to college and put a ton of energy into my career, or had children early and be able to focus on my career later in life. But I did neither, I waited till I was 27 to start a family. Not that it was really my choice, but it is what it is.

This year, I am really at peace with aging. I am mature enough to realize that life goes quickly. I am not in any rush for Annabelle to start Kindergarten, Tessa to be potty trained or for Mia to start crawling. Granted there are advantages and conveniences that will come with all of those things, but I truly just want to enjoy each and every day with them. Right now they want me. They need me. And I love it. Bella has promised only to leave me in order to go to Kindergarten and to get a husband. In my opinion, those are perfectly reasonable requests. She has also promised that when she has babies, she will bring them to my house so that I can watch them while she goes to "appointments". Tessa is still a daddy's girl and only needs me when he is not around. Mia however eats, sleeps and breathes for me. Literally. She waits for me to come home at the end of the day in order to eat. So frustrating, but so sweet and romantic.

Every night when my girls go to bed, I make a silent promise to them and to myself that I will try to be a better momma tomorrow. Sometimes I have to try really, really hard. Yesterday when Bella told me that I was ruining her life, I really wanted to laugh. Sometimes it's so hard to be an adult. I wanted to tell her to try spending the day with my mom and then let me know how your life is going. But I am supposed to be the adult. And I am glad that the biggest, most devastating part of her day is because she got the Icarly toy in her Happy Meal instead of the Star Wars toy.

I guess this blog doesn't really have much of a point. I'm another year older, and a few pounds heavier. Maybe next year I will be able to say that I'm another year older and a few pounds lighter? Some things have changed, some things never will, like my dense husband forgetting to do anything for my birthday. But instead of being heart broken over that, I am choosing to be happy that my darling 5 yr old made me the most delightful birthday card. Even if she used every bit of tape we had in the house to do so.

Till next time,

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Well that was quick.

I realize that I haven't blogged in a long time. I have been busy living life, and not taking very good care of myself. One of MANY resolutions for this year is to take care of my mental, emotional and physical health. Keep your fingers crossed for me, I tend to get busy and fall off the wagon rather quickly.

But now for the point of this blog ~

2010 is here and 2009 is gone. Wow! It seems like just yesterday I was married to someone else and wondering how bad y2k was going to be. Hard to imagine either of those things now.

I am not sure I really even know what to compare 2009 to. A relationship with an abusive boyfriend? A serious bout of buyer's remorse? The closest thing I can think of is a night spent with really good friends and really good booze, that REALLY hurts the next morning.

To summarize briefly ~ 2009 brought Mia, born happy and healthy in September and brought Ben home safely from Iraq. While I thought that both of those events would allow me to sleep through the night, I was wrong. Now I worry about Mia breathing and Ben taking on riskier endeavors. oh well.

On the negative side, I have to say that 2009 pissed in my cheerios way more then I feel was fair. Both Greg and I were laid off. It seemed like the Dr's were always telling us that something was wrong with Mimi, and that I spent too much time strapped into a hospital bed being tested for something. Greg had his heart issue in November, we still don't know what caused it, but he is taking medicines to keep his heart beat regular and his blood pressure low until the cardiologist can find out why it went all haywire. The meds make him tired and cranky, but keep him alive :-) In December Tessa's social worker notified us that she had found not one, but two!!! potential dads for her. Part of me thinks it could be a blessing. Tessa will want to know who her biological family is when she grows up. The other part of me is irrate. The social worker should have filed for termination after 6 months, and I feel like her case was back burnered because we were easy and uneventful. I think it is unfair that her case not be done and over with right now, and that Greg and myself and mostly the baby need and deserve to have that closure. ugh. 2009 comes to an end, the emotional part of me would like to wave it out with a big f@*k you!, and the sensible part of me knows better. You don't tempt fate. I am not sure who is running the show. It might be God, it might not be. But I am starting to believe that someone has a plan for me. I never thought that I would be where I am. Stressful times make you realize who your real friends are and which family members will always be there when you need them. Stress makes you realize what is important and who is important. On those days that I wake up and feel like crawling under the covers and crying "it's not fair!" I have to remind myself that it is fair. My family is happy. And we don't take our health for granted. I love my husband and I love my girls. And I am pretty sure that they love me. At least on my good days, ;-)