Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Please turn off my brain

1:27am Crying. Loud crying. “Mamaaaaaaaaaa”

“Ignore her, at some point she needs to learn how to sleep thru the night.”

“But she is going to wake up Molly. And everyone else for that matter.”

“She will stop eventually.”

1:46am Still crying.

“I will give you anything you want if you go get her and bring her up.”


1:50am “Mama, mama. I was missing you. Where’s my baba? Where is my pillow? Mama, help me. Mama, you wrap me?”

Amazing that I can actually smell her tears. Her little hands are wrapped tightly around her bottle as she gulps, gulps, gulps herself back to sleep. One hand loosens its grip and finds a chunk of my hair to twist as she dozes.

2:46am “Mia, you have to move over, I have no room. Christine, move over so she can scoot over. Ugh!! I should just go sleep on the couch.”

5:06am Alarm. Snooze.

5:15am Alarm. Snooze.

5:24am Alarm. Snooze.

5:33am Alarm. Snooze.

5:42am Alarm. I’m up, I’m up. Crap, G is occupying the shower. Should’ve snoozed again. Crap, it’s 5:45am, I am so late. Pee. Why do we still have freaking rv toilet paper in the bathroom?

Brush teeth. Eyebrows are really, really bad. Cannot put off wax any longer. Really should take off makeup before going to bed. If not because it’s bad for skin, because I should stop scaring the girls and myself when I wake up.

5:50am Shower. Crying. “Maaaaaamaaaa, you cuddle me? Maaaamaaaaa.”

Hurry up. Should’ve shaved. Legs are gross. Dry off. You are going to be so late.

More crying.

Ugh. Seriously? Please stop crying!! Whose idea was it to have kids??

6:15am No time for breakfast, grab soda to take to work.

6:33am Not so bad, not too late.

Seat warmers are a good thing. Stay awake. Traffic sucks. STAY AWAKE! Remind G to refill heart medicine. Why do I have to nag him? He’s an adult. Still need to buy little girls jackets. Horrible mom, it’s been months. Shit! Speaking of months - Note to self- MUST GET MIA’S EPI PENS PRESCRIPTION REFILLED!! So lazy. ugh. Who lives like this?

Chronic Liver Disease.

7:05am. Work. Not too late. Even had time to pick up coffee.

Bank draws. Customer funded. Change Order #8. Pay interest payment for spec. Don’t forget to process payroll. Internet not working, suckage.

Do not forget to process payroll. Hurry up so you don’t get stuck staying so late, and you might be able to wax those horrible brows. Should really schedule dental appointments for the girls. Bella still hasn’t had well child check for her January birthday.

“Did you send out the checks for the P**** job? Customer A is calling to see where they are.”

Chronic Liver Disease. What if she dies?

“How late can you stay today?” “Did you receive the invoices from *** Concrete? They want to know which liens you are missing.”

Liver Failure. Don’t forget to pay the freaking cable bill; otherwise you won’t have internet service at home either.


Must file paperwork for Sec of State for Elementary School Boosters. Otherwise this chick will never stop emailing. So tired. Need more coffee. Wonder if I should get blond highlights? Text Molly, remind her to take AB to Wednesday meeting. Molly says running low on lots. Must go grocery shopping.

Lunch. Gas light is on.

Check fb. So many stay at home moms. I miss my girls. Maybe we should add 1 more to the mix? G would freak. Should be making grocery list instead of facebooking. Should be skipping lunch and getting gas. Wonder what Crystal is up to?

Meeting with potential customers in 2 hrs. Boss is yelling again. Sigh, happy to stay back in my office out of the way.

I miss my old office. Miss my old boss. Should be thankful to have a job. Must text old boss and remind him I will be late on Friday since Mia needs lab work done. Super suckage.

Liver Failure. Can you have a transplant as a toddler?

Check the mail. For the 2nd time today. File B&O taxes. Upload data file with backup copy of quickbooks instead of accountants copy.

Funny. One would think if you are uploading a data file to an accountant then you would send an accountant’s copy, huh. oh well. Nothing like a waste of an hour. sigh. tired. Molly says #1 being a brat again. What is the deal? Call home, talk #1 off the ledge. My nails look like crap.

Wonder what is on TMZ today. Wonder what Brett Favre is doing? Still raining. I miss Vegas. Missed call from brother. Crap. Wonder what he is doing. Newly married, how fun. Jealous.

Run to post office. Gas light is still on.

Could swear I just saw my dad walking out the post office. Weird. Probably not normal to be seeing dead people, lol. Wonder if there is a heaven? Probably not. He probably wouldn’t be there anyway.

Back to office.

Crap, easily going to be here another couple of hours. G wants to know what to make for dinner.

Phone is ringing. Cell phone is ringing. “Are you going to be able to come to the car lot today?” “I need you to stay here for a meeting.” “Did you process those change orders yet?”

Leaving. Now. No matter how much is left to do. Need to actually help AB with her homework. We are awful parents.

Traffic. Rain. 16 miles into gas light.

People should really be able to handle driving in rain here. Brutal. Liver Biopsy. 2yr old with extremely out of range levels. Her ALT is better, but not anything else. Are you sure she isn’t exposed to anything environmentally?


“Wow, you are home early. No car lot? Don’t you need to be over there?”


Crying. More crying. Fighting over a soda.

My 2yr old with liver failure is drinking a diet soda. Wonder if that would qualify as an environmental exposure? 7yr old is watching TV. By herself. Again. And she is starting to get boobs. Sigh. Still tired.

“Mama, open door! You open door for your baby!” “Mia, let go of the door handle like that, you are going to break it.” “This is your baby, mama! Big baby sit on your lap?” “No, you cannot sit on my lap while I am going potty.” “I lock door mama. Tessie no come in.”

8:00pm. Gummy vitamins, melatonin, bottle, downstairs. Tantrums. More tantrums. Tummy aches. Fights over the sleep timer.

8:30pm. Lay down with #1. Talk about her day. Talk about the fact that no one is helping with her homework.

Dig thru the 6 baskets of unfolded laundry to find cozy clothes. Hate doing laundry. If I ever win the lottery the 1st thing I will do is hire someone to do the laundry. G is doing the dishes again. Should really be helping instead of playing Draw Something. I wonder if he will go get us Blizzards. Maybe he will get gas for me?

10:15pm “When you do you want to pay up your “I will give you anything you want if you go get the baby” offer?” Shit.

11:08pm Forecast says rain again.

Forgot to pay the cable bill, again. Forgot to get Mia’s Epi-Pens refilled. Should go to sleep and stop googling liver biopsy. I can see my awful brows in the reflection of the ipad. Rude. Liver Failure. ugh.