And it goes a little something like this:.........
10:47pm - put a soundly sleeping Miss Mimi down in her crib, for hopefully 2 successful nights in a row. Greg made it thru last night with her, surely I can do it too, right?
12:02am - awaken to high pitched fire alarm caliber screaming coming from nursery, however, not coming thru on monitor. Noise level apparently not an issue for 2 other people sleeping in my bed, they both continue to snore.
12:03am - enter nursery, calm baby, she grins back at me, assuming night time is now over and its time to hang out.
12:04am - return to nursery with bottle, Mia promptly grabs and begins gulping as if she hasn't eaten for days.
12:05am - attempt to figure out why on earth baby monitor isn't working when it worked fine the night before. Determine that the kid is loud enough that no monitor is necessary, go back to bed.
12:13am - awaken to violently loud screams, again. Enter nursery, wonder if baby is too cold to sleep. Wrap blanket tightly around Mia's abdomen. Rub her tummy, go back to bed.
12:15am - Screams continue. Try to convince myself that she is ok, almost 10 months old and has to learn to sleep thru the night at some point.
12:16am - Feel guilty, enter nursery to quiet screaming and prevent other children from being woken up. See that blanket is now on baby's face, panic! Assume that baby is now dying of SIDS (regardless of the fact that she is shrieking like she is being stabbed) quickly label self as world's worst mom, pick up dying baby and attempt to rock her to sleep.
12:25am - Put baby back in crib, her body feels warm, but still convinced that she must be freezing, why else would she be so fussy? Remove offending blanket, swear at self for greedily installing central heat and air instead of individual wall units so that I could manage each room's temperature control and therefore prevent baby's now obvious hypothermia. Go back to bed.
12:28am - Begin to doze back off, drooling starts, only to be rocketed back to reality by now working baby monitor, Mia is grunting and crying and is clearly suffocating to death.
12:29am - Enter nursery and see that although close to crib rail, baby appears to be fine and just angry at her awful mother for abandoning her. Instantly recall that beautiful crib was subject to a recall and can't remember if husband installed repair kit on this crib or other crib. Swear at husband under breath for not loving the baby at all, who on earth would not try to save baby from dying by installing the kit? Crawl under crib, while singing "You are my sunshine" to try and quiet sobbing baby, trying to determine if said kit was indeed installed. Wonder if husband did install kit, and I am just losing my mind. Maybe I should wake husband from clearly sound and peaceful sleep and ask if he managed to find time between The Deadliest Catch and Pawn Stars to think about preventing baby from death?
12:31am - Baby now back in too small cosleeper, next to mom's bed, sleeping soundly.